"Penny stop eating or you'll explode, come over here and hold up this hook. That's it, now I'll just get through the gap and hold it from the other side so you can get through. Why would you want to get though? Well I thought you were going to help me put our side of the story here? Oh, you'd forgotten again. Right, just put down that peanut and hold this before someone comes."
"Can't I just take it with me wherever we''re going Amy"?
"Better not Penny since we don't want to leave clues that we left home without Longlegs help."
"Right Penny, we made it. This is the box I've seen the Longlegs use and also that smug cat who thinks he's better than us. Him pretending to ignore us but I see those whiskers on the go twitching at our every move. OK now Penny. you have to listen. I need to press these buttons and will ask you to press some too. Yes, it's important, and yes you can write the pretty words."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Penny, don't lean on the letters please!"
HELP, we are two Lady Rats being held against our will inside a cat infested house. I know he will tell lies about us so that he doesn't have to tell his friends we have taken his place in the affection of the Longlegs.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Penny, get your tummy off the keyboard please!"
To resume..... You will no doubt hear that we took a piece from his tail which is not true. He was leaning on our home and licking his lips when my sister decided to see if she could get him through the bars-as she does with everything- and had to get a good grip with her teeth to allow her to brace herself with her hands. No malice intended. I want the world to be aware that we are not here by choice and that I was caught on the last dash for freedom I made.
"Penny Dear, don't try and eat that please, you'll cut off the electrickers we need to send this message."
To resume...... Please disregard anything the cat says about us until you've heard our side of the story but be prepared for squeals if he attempts to make a meal of us. His squeals I mean. But, if you want to rescue us from this environment, we'll be most grateful.
"Yes Penny, I know you're hungry, we can go back now. You just write the pretty words at the end and sign it.!
HALP US PLAESE
PENI NAD AMI.
I really don't understand. I have given the rats Penny and Amy ( stupid names in my opinion. They should be called Ratty and Another Ratty ) space to settle in. I have treated them with disdain when I've walked by the cage and no-one could suspect I may eventually have other plans for them. Mmmm, dinner.
Anyway, I confess that curiosity got the better of me. This morning I went to the cage
(Hmph, they even warrant their own luxury quarters. This has to be brought to an end). , lifted my self on my rear legs and put my paws on the edge of the table. One of them, Amy I think by her darker colouring, came forward and was almost nose to nose with me at the cage. Her nose was twitching to get the smell of my superiority no doubt when I felt a tug at my tail. I know I have a habit of waving it about when something catches my interest. But my interest is not supposed to catch my tail. I looked down and there was Penny trying to pull my tail in through the bars, probably intending to pull the rest of me through with it. As a Superior (THE Superior actually) I did not scream when I felt the grip she had on me with those ratty teeth. But, there was no way I could allow this state of affairs to continue. Not in my own house.
Gritting my teeth together I told Amy than if Penny didn't desist I would make a meal of her. I didn't think she understood but after a moments pause ( nearly said paws then)
I heard her say to Penny, " Stop sister. no point in making an enemy of this cat and I doubt he's edible anyway".
THIS CAT !!!! Who does she think she's talking about.
But Penny looked up at her sister and released the tail reluctantly. "But I liked playing with it" she said.
"I shall overlook this incident" I told them both, "but you'd better be prepared for war if you ever do that again".
Swinging my tail round, I licked it clean at the point where the teeth had been without showing that more than just my pride was a little hurt. I mustered all my dignity and turning round, walked away.
My first job after I've checked my food dishes is to see whether any of the gang know of a good recipe for Rats. Not that I shall mention why. I would never live it down. They already wonder why there are two rats in the house as If I'm not the Superior who makes these decisions. I had to lie and say I wanted the Longlegs to have company while I was away. But now I think my Longlegs deserve a short sharp lesson for putting me in this position. I think some claws extended massage is due tonight in the pretense of settling down on their knees.
I have returned from my holiday to find I have been usurped. In a large cage in pride of place are two animals hat should never be seen in the home of a self respecting cat like myself. RATS of all things. Worse still the longlegs have tried to humanize them by giving them names, Penny and Amy. I ask you, who gives names like that to rodents?
I am trying to rise above the situation by pretending I don't see them or better still that I am ignoring them. After all I don't want anyone to think senility is setting in.....which it obviously is with my longlegs. How dare they bring these creatures into my home after all the years I spent hunting them as pests and now they drop an 'S' and call them pets. Absolutely ridiculous.
It is a little funny though that I can walk into the room and watch them eyeing me up to see if I'm about to pounce. They stop whatever they're doing to watch me as I studiously pretend to ignore them. hey're quite funny really and from the corner of my eye I can see their antics. Penny is a thief of any food that isn't nailed down and in that I include anything that happens to be in her sisters hands at the time. This morning I saw her fly down the ramp from the penthouse carrying a peanut in it's shell. She deposited it on the ground floor in her cache then shot back up her ladder to the first floor to see if there was anything for her from the longlegs, No? So she shot straight up the ramp to the penthouse and pinched the nut that Amy was trying to open. That also went down the ramps to the store leaving neither of them with anything to eat until those silly longlegs gave them another one each. And how undignified the longlegs are with their constant
" Hello beautiful Penny, who's a pretty girl" etc. when in fact I'm the beautiful one around here and they should be giving me treats and hugs now I'm back.
I believe a few sessions of missing my litter tray are in order to regain me some attention or the gang will be laughing at me soon. I think I may also train the rats to co-operate with me in a finger nibbling session when the longlegs place their hands near. I will leave them in peace in exchange for that and the longlegs will see I'm the one they need to take care of from now on.