It has rained here for two light times now. After the first one I was bored of staying at home especially as my 'The Her' brought in the white coat to clip my claws. How effective are they going to be now? I can't continue my training of 'The Him' with blunt claws, and it's not always easy to find an open space to bite since he wears so many of the Longleg skins.

Anyway, this light time I was going out, raining or not raining. I’m glad I did.

I had left the house through the bedroom clearway and was sitting on the outer wall when I saw Ginger sheltering under the trees at the edge of the wood. I was just about to shout hello to him when I saw a flash of colour, and there was Ginger in the mouth of a fox. It had grabbed him behind the neck and he couldn't turn round to fight. I was off the wall like a shot. The fox saw me coming and bolted but of course he was neither as quick nor as agile as me....partly due maybe to the weight of poor Ginger, anyway it didn't take long to catch up to him.

I grabbed at his leg with my claws only to find it had no effect because my claws were of course currently decorating the carpet at home where they'd been cut.

   With a magnificent leap, superb even for us Superiors, I jumped again and locked my teeth about the fox’s back leg. He howled and as he did so dropped Ginger who bolted. My teeth currently round the fox's back leg I couldn't shout to Ginger to support me and the fox was shaking me from side to side to dislodge me. I thought if he did so I might end up in Ginger's last known position. But, as luck would have it with a final shake I fell free of the leg and the fox decided not to stop for lunch and shot off....no doubt to tell his wife of the ferocious animal who'd taken their dinner away.

   I walked back to my wall and yes, I allowed myself a bit of a swagger. I know that's something hard to believe, a Superior swaggering, but I'm afraid I did. At the wall, there was Ginger with Gizmo and Smokie and with his back to me I could hear him telling them how he'd fought off a dog fox single handedly and how he was sorry but they probably wouldn't see me again as the fox had taken me as his consolation prize......I coughed.
Ginger knew the sound and stopping mid-sentence turned towards me. “Oscar” he cried, “ so glad to see you safe. I would have helped you but you were out of sight so quickly I couldn't find you.”
“Yes” I responded, “ I suppose the gap between us did open up pretty quickly didn't it?” He at least held his head low at that remark. I turned to Gizmo and Smokie and said “ Doesn't look as though Mr. Fox gets any dinner today then!” They laughed but we all knew we'd have to deal with the fox before long to stop him taking any Superiors and inviting them to dinner...as the main course...again. A few bites and scratches ( yes, not by me until the claws grow again) from us should make him look for a different prey in future.

Wise Cat
Red flash in the grass
the fox is strong and cunning
but I shall prevail

Collette Scott
Now that's one fine, brave kitty! :)
Niamh Clune.
I love these cat stories. You should publish as a book for children. Get someone to draw the pictures! But if Oscar became a huge star, his head would grow even bigger!
(Niamh, If he became a bigger star I'd have to become a bigger servant. We've already had the doorways widened once for him. xx)

Niamh Clune
Funny! I have a cat who rules us all, including the dog. LOL! Please write these stories down for children!
Cat's seem to be very good at this. I'm not sure I could do a book like that for children and I could no longer draw for something like that).

Ilil Arbel
Niamh is absolutely right. A book is needed. I would say not just for children, though...
( Oh ganging up now are we? SEE PREVIOUS ANSWER.)

Deb Hockenberry
David,
Hahahahaha! I'm still laughing. I can relate to your story since I have a cat myself. Well, I can relate to everything except for the fox & all the excitement! My cat is an indoor cat but she let's me share this apartment even though I pay the bills.

I have to agree with everyone else that commented here. You should turn these stories into a children's book. It has all the makings of one!
(Your cat is obviously as kind as Oscar Deb. He often lets me sit in one of his chairs or occupy his bed at night, though obviosly he decides when I've been there long enough and wakes me. I suppose as he appears so often in my books there wouldn't be a need to give him one of his own).

   I write to you week in week out to let you see just how Superior we are as beings. How we rule the longlegs without them actually realising it. There is a saying you should bear in mind here. Man thinks he rules the world, Cats KNOW they do.
You really must learn to be firm in your directions whilst retaining subtlety. It's no use talking to Longlegs these days about how hungry you are. You must direct them to your empty dish so they will understand.
If they are not quick enough to renew the litter in your tray, make sure you kick the old and used litter out onto the floor in order to use what's left. They'll soon get the message.

   I was asked by young Thomas about laps. Do we stay there if placed there by a Longlegs? The answer is, only if you feel comfortable. If not, you must get off but you must also give a quick swipe with your paw as you go to let them know you go onto laps at your whim not theirs. There are times I get so disheartened to hear that some of you forget who is in charge and allow yourselves to be manhandled. Maybe I should write a book on this? I'm sure Wise Cat would help with an opinion.

   BEDS. Now, this is important, pay attention. During the light time the beds are of course yours to do with as you will. Sleep being the obvious choice. But dark time seems to confuse many of you. I can't understand why. It's exactly the same as the light time, they're yours. OK, you may let the Longlegs share them in the dark time but the main point is they must share them AFTER you are comfortable. Don't let yourself be bullied into giving up your spot.

   I know some of you like your Longlegs and treat them as pets but you really must remember that they are only there to see to your needs really. Give them an inch and you'll suddenly find you've got a ruler. You can like them, even Love them and tolerate them but don't ever forget who is the Superior and giving the orders. Why do you think you were given such a wonderful set of claws if not to use them to train and chastise your Longlegs. Be fair with them but don't let them take advantage. Share your furniture with them but only after you've reserved your place.

   Remember above all else that a Longlegs is for life or should I say for your life. They must make you comfortable and feed you the best of everything in order to earn the right to stroke you. Don't give in too easily and you can expect a long and comfy life.
Oscar.

Julia
Well you certainly have us well trained Oscar though I do think you could sugar coat it a bit and occasionally let us think we're in charge.

Timothy Cat Arbel

Oscar, buddy, you got it right. I found a new place to sleep which totally amazed my longlegs. As she sleeps, I push her pillows to the side with my well sharpened claws. She obediently moves her head with the pillows, and then the little spot between the pillows and the edge of the bed is sheer joy. Sometimes I put my paws in her hair, too.
Your friend, Timmy

Wise Cat
Dear Sir Oscar,

I feel honored by your mentioning me. Yes, not only should you write a book of advice to other Superiors, but I think this segment could serve as a perfect introduction! You can always count on my help, too.

Here is a haiku I have composed for the great occasion (your thinking of a book, I mean, of course):
fur gleams in dark time
my superior’s eyes glow
you know who I am...

  It has been the time for the testing of wills both inside and outside the home.

Even some Superiors need to know their place in the scheme of things, and not all Superiors are at the same level. For instance you could say I'm a Superior Superior because I know my demesne and rule it...in a benevolent way of course. Though inside the home each Superior is the boss undoubtedly, outside the home I tend to be the one who decides what we will do. It just fell naturally to me.

It was during the light time before today hat young Thomas decided he was Superior enough now to make the decisions for my group. He is large and was quite aggressive when we found him you may remember. But since we found him a new place to live in which he is Superior it seems he thinks himself big enough to take over outside too. Smokie, Gizmo and Tiger may well have let him do this but Ginger had other ideas as my deputy. If anyone is to take over Ginger thinks it should be himself. I of course know that I'm not ready to concede any power yet. In the battle that ensued young Thomas proved to be too strong for Ginger yet Ginger was not ready to give up. I shouted to make myself heard “Enough!” and then seeing Thomas off balance as he looked round batted him with my paw so he toppled over. “Stupidity” I said, “ how can we be Superior if we fight amongst ourselves and not with our enemies. We must stick together as always.” Smokie, Gizmo and Tiger saw the sense in this and seeing his audience lost Thomas agreed reluctantly. Ginger had no choice if he wished to remain my deputy.
Divide and conquer works well.

At home my problem was slightly different. Whilst my paws were bad my 'The Him' has perceived me as weaker than usual. Though there has been much I have not been able to do I have still maintained my seat on the new chair and not allowed him to share. It was funny watching him sit on the floor to speak to guests because I unsheathed my claws when he came to sit with me. He understood the meaning and backed away sharply. But, while my 'The Her' has been ill I've not been able to curl up on her as usual and have allowed myself to be moved. This reached a point last dark time when I decided to curl up with 'The Him' instead. He didn't seem keen on my using my claws to soften the space I chose nor on moving to accommodate me. It was necessary to give a reminder of who makes the rules so I walked up the bed and lay across his head. As I lay down I made the usual softening motion across his scalp. He squirmed a lot and even yowled before I walked back down and took up the spot I'd previously held. He didn't seem to mind as much any more. I passed a happy dark time and found him quite comfortable.
Training is everything.

I believe I have established that my will prevails and I am definitely a true Superior.
Wise Cat
Dear Sir Oscar:
In the Me-Ow Dictionary of Superior Values it is said: “The ability to adjust to new circumstances is the sign of a highly intelligent Superior.” Sir Oscar, your ability to adjust is legendary. We at Me-Ow salute your intelligence,or dare I say, genius?

Your friend and admirer, Wise Cat

Today I am interviewing Wise Cat who often leaves a comment at the end of my Blog.

Good afternoon, Wise Cat. I am very happy you agreed to do this interview. I know that my extensive audience has been looking forward to hearing from you again. And allow me to add my thanks for your regular comments, haikus, and ancient sayings. 
As always, Sir Oscar, I am glad to visit. And I am pleased you thought about using your Longlegs’ SKYPE. It’s nice to be able to see you. My Longlegs always leaves her computer on for the three of us when she goes to work, so it was an easy matter for me to oblige and meet you for the first time face to face. You are indeed a very handsome Superior.   And you must allow me to return the compliment about your own distinguished and elegant looks.
 
But you look different than I was expecting, Wise Cat. I had no idea you were a female! 
Oh, yes, Sir Oscar. The position I hold at the ancient continent of Me-Ow can only be held by female cats. There is an old fashioned division of labor in Me-Ow, very different than here.
 
  I suspect some of our audience does not know about your position, and not even about the continent of Me-Ow. Would you please remind them?
 Of course, I apologize for taking it for granted. It is because I know what a large base of fans you have, Sir Oscar… Yes, I am an indoor cat in a Manhattan apartment, living with two other Superiors and a single Longlegs, a lady who greatly appreciates us and serves us with much devotion. However, in addition, I am also an official in ancient Me-Ow, and I take regular time travel trips to discharge my duties. When I am resting in New York, between assignments, two delegates take care of business in Me-Ow. The continent is placed in the Atlantic, space wise, and 30,000 years ago or so, time wise. A truly beautiful place. 

  How did you find the land of Me-Ow?
 I was born there, Sir Oscar, it was my original home. Once, as a young Superior, I was traveling with my Longlegs on a yacht. Suddenly, a strange upheaval occurred, a huge wave picked me up and tossed me about. I lost consciousness very early in this nightmarish trip, but when I revived, I found myself 30,000 years in the future, in what I later discovered was a place called Arkansas, in the United States of America. It is clear that both space and time were mixed, since Arkansas is not near the ocean. I was found by a Longlegs who took me to a shelter. For two months I was very ill and forgot my origin, but when I physically recovered, I was adopted into my first Arkansas home. Slowly, I regained my memory and realized I could do things no other cat could do in this day and age… such as transmitting commands into the minds of the Longlegs.
 
  Did you settle in that home?
 For a while, a short while... Unfortunately, my Longlegs died and I was put in the shelter again. I decided that was not what I wanted and made a mind effort to come back in time to Me-Ow. I succeeded and reached my old home. When I arrived, I was informed that my adventures were a reason for a promotion, since I gained much wisdom, and I was offered a position, which is the Superior of the Royal Palace, in charge of the extensive gardens. But it was on condition – I had to also live in the United States, 30,000 years in the future, and learn all I could for the Longlegs at home. I agreed to accept my duties.
 
  Did you live in many households?
 Yes. Four households to be precise. It was not always pleasant, but I did learn quite a lot and could give much information to my Longlegs in Me-Ow, and remember, I went there often to rest from my labors. The Longlegs with whom I reside now met me in Arkansas, where I lived in reasonable but not perfect conditions. She and I truly loved each other right away. She asked me if I wanted to come with her to Manhattan and join her two other Superiors, where I could be extremely comfortable. I have never met anyone who could communicate so well with Superiors, so I willingly accepted her kind offer, and informed my other Longlegs about my decision. They were quite understanding and put no obstacles in my way.
 
  It is clear that you have learned quite a bit. Your haiku poetry, ancient sayings, and advice show you have studied for many years.
Thank you, Sir Oscar. The double life I lead allow much study, and the longer life span caused by time travel and my heritage help, too. One of my companion Superiors is interested in my studies and we have many intellectual discussion. The other is not a scholar, but he is a great traveler and comes with me often to Me-Ow. He is very well liked there by the Sovereign.
 
  What exciting adventures you have had, Wise Cat. I wish I could learn time travel.
 Oh, but you can, Sir Oscar. Every cat can learn how to do it. Obviously I had to teach my house mate to do so when he comes with me. You know those moments when you stare at a wall, and there is nothing there? All Superiors do that, it’s natural to us. In this state, just blank your mind and imagine a time you wish to go to. With a little practice, you will be able to do so. Just make sure you come back to the same moment you left, since you don’t want your Longlegs to worry. You know how silly they can be…
 
  Well, Wise Cat, I don’t want to take more of your time, but I am quite grateful for the time travel tip and I am sure many of my admirers will try it. Please convey my regards to your house mates and your Longlegs, and I hope you will come to see us soon again. I shall be delighted to do so, Sir Oscar. When I come back, I’ll teach you how to materialize and de-materialize through walls. Have a great day!

  Peace reigns. I have my chair and I can rest there with no disturbance. I know the strange longlegs is to return as I see his things in the hallway, but it will not affect this room where my chair sits waiting for me. Also my pads are better and no-one is shouting because I leave bloody paw marks on everything. I can lick them to my hearts content and no-one tries to distract me. This is very nearly perfect. But not quite......

During the time that my pads have been sore and all the work has been going on, things have changed. I have spent so much time in my chair resting that I have unwittingly allowed these changes. My 'The Her' has become sick and sometimes the door has been closed against me. My the 'Him' has been able to sleep in and has got used to not having me wake him when I want something. All that changed this light.

I had been lying in my chair as usual when I suddenly realised I was hungry. Jumping down from the chair I realised my pads were fine. I strolled to my food dish and found it empty. Now recently I would have taken to my bed again rather than jumped about with sore pads. Not this light though.

I wandered through to my the 'Him's room and called to him. He didn't hear me or at least pretended not to. I gave him one more chance with a louder shout, the 'I'm about to be sick' shout. Amazingly that didn't move him either. You must understand I was left with no choice now. I jumped up on the bed, found a gap in the covers and entered. As usual his toes were twitching, at least until I sunk my teeth into one and then it was jerked away rapidly. I emerged from the covers in time to see the look of surprise on the 'Him's face. I spoke to him again before jumping off the bed in the safe knowledge that he would follow. For the sake of his other toes, he did. I led him in the direction of my food dish and he got the hint straight away. That's what good training does for you.

Having eaten I noted he had returned to his bed. I didn't want that just yet and so I followed him in. I spoke again, and his fluttering eyelids opened wide. I didn't even have to jump on the bed again. “What is it now Oscar?” he said getting out and following as I led him to the lounge. I stood by the settee and waited. Sure enough my training skills had remained. He sat down and moments later I was on his knee getting hugged and stroked as I should. The only problem was it looked as though he was falling asleep again. A few head nudges and he was back. After a while I'd had enough and settled at his side to rest. He left.

Alone again I decided to wander through to my the 'Her'. I know she's not well but that's no excuse for ignoring me. There was no point in shouting as she never hears me and wakes but I decided to settle in the gap left where she lay on her side with her knees drawn up. Resting against her stomach I went to sleep. It was there that I woke later with a purr of satisfaction when I realised just how back to normal life is.

  Its been chaos, absolute chaos. For the second light-time this week things were moving. There I was, peacefully sleeping in my chair when the clattering began. My 'The Him' and The 'Her' were pulling things off shelves and out of cupboards and taking them away. Out and away, out and away.

When everything had been taken they cam in with small brother and started pushing the tables, chairs, drawers and settee all in the direction of my chair. How was I going to rest with all this noise going on? I decided to go and rest on my the 'Her's bed. Big mistake !

The bed was covered in all the things taken off the shelves. As I was just finding a little space to lay down in they all trooped again with more...all the drawers from the cabinets and I narrowly avoided being crushed by one. Someone will pay for that later. I climbed down, careful not to jump and hurt my feet, and went in search of a space on my the'His's bed. Ridiculous, that was also covered in things from that room. In disgust I went and lay on the bathroom floor.

I was there no time at all before a strange longlegs came in laden down with long boxes which he lay on the floor close to me. They looked heavy so I moved again as that way I couldn't get squashed. Someone opened the door to the airing cupboard so I jumped in. Warm and cosy I lay down again to sleep. No sooner had I closed my eyes than the banging began. Bang, Bang, Bang.

Why on earth am I being tormented like this? And then I realised I couldn't get out to get away from the noise. I shouted and called for ages before my the 'Him' finally let me out.

“What the....Ouch' he said as I jumped jumped down and swiped his hand in passing as payment for almost crushing me on the bed. It might not have been him of course but someone has to pay. It was also for locking me in the airing cupboard.

I moved away from the door and as I did, there was the strange longlegs on the floor of the lounge laying big pieces of wood as a new floor. I sat in the clearway and watched. It went together quite well and he's almost reached half way where all the other furniture now stood. From where I sat I saw my the 'Him' and small brother move the furniture over to the side that was now wood and the strange longlegs carried on.

This went on all day with furniture backwards and forwards and side to side. No way could I achieve comfort in my chair without being treated as though I was on one of those longlegs fairground rides. At last my the'Her' walked with him to the clearway my the 'Him' and small brother started putting furniture back into place. Soon there was a complete room as it was before but with a new floor. I went to my chair and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon sun as everything was brought back into the cabinets, drawers etc. Every time something hard went down on the new floor it made a noise. Every time someone dropped something on the wood I jerked awake at the noise. I was getting so annoyed that when small brother put his hand near to stroke me I bit down on it...and ran. But as I ran on this new floor I couldn't grip and as I tried to corner I skidded and sailed straight on into the wall, Small brother laughed and pointed and said something like “ serves you right !

Well it's done now and all is peaceful again and I'm on my chair where I belong. I d hope this is over now and no more changes to come so my the 'Her' can rest and get better. At least she has something new to rest on in the peace and quiet like me..

Wise Cat
An ancient haiku:
when chaos swirls
and winds of change are blowing
a cat must dream on

  Heavens above. What's going on? Changes and more changes. I'd better start at the beginning.

Some of you Longlegs and Superiors alike will remember that a new chair was delivered recently and I laid claim to it. My 'The Him ' has not been able to sit on it except when I'm not there, and when I do allow it he does nothing but moan about my hairs sticking to him. He should be grateful for the warmth I offer.

This light I had settled down in my new chair to relax in sleep after a hard night when all of a sudden there was a clunk sound. I looked up and there was a Longlegs at the hard clearway they call a window and HE WAS REMOVING IT ! Suddenly there was no window,

I hadn't noticed anyone enter the room but suddenly my chair was moving, being pushed back against the wall. It was the small brother of my 'The Him' and there was my 'The Him' pushing the table back against the far wall so the middle of the room was clear.

Then the two of them took the chair next to me and flung it through the gap where the window had been. After this they took the long seat they call the settee and pushed it carefully through the same gap. Am I next? I naturally shot off my chair and sped from the room. When I didn't hear another loud sound I crept back and looked carefully in. My chair was still there and the Longlegs were all concentrating on moving things away from the window area.

Soon I heard one of their big chariots arrive with a grumble. Everyone moved outside through the main clearway except small brother who climbed through the now vanished window howling when he found his legs too short to reach the ground outside and he was forced to sit on something quite sharp to slide over. They loaded the abandoned furniture and the grumble started again as the chariot backed away.

I had just started to think all was well when again a chariot approached. It was a different one this time. I tell you that so you know how observant we Superiors are even under threat. Out got a giant Longlegs and my longlegs joined him. The back of the chariot opened and they carried out a chair. A new chair ! My 'The Him' and the small brother brought it to the space where the window had been and put it down. Small brother ran round to the large clearway and came through to the room rushing past me. Between them they lifted the chair through the gap into the room in the place where the old chair had sat. I saw the giant bring out a settee from the chariot and without help brought it to the window space and pass it through. They moved it to the place the old one had sat.

The first Longlegs who had taken away the window now took a strong grip on it, lifted and replaced it where it had been. He waved goodbye.

Small brother and my 'The Him' brought the table back to the centre and rearranged things and the room was back to normal. My 'The Her' was brought in to rest on the new settee and I jumped up beside her for a hug. All the time I looked round to see if the new chair was the one I would claim now or whether I would let my 'The Him' have that one. Things settled down at last and I was able to eat and then relax in my original chair as though nothing had happened but for a moment I thought my world was turning upside down.

Wise Cat
An ancient saying:

A Superior must graciously accept the fact that the restless Longlegs know not the meaning of peace, quiet and conserved energy.

Julia Prosser
We like changing things what can I say Oscar?

  Sometimes the longlegs are fools. I'm afraid I have to admit that on occasions I think I made the wrong choice all those years ago.

My pads are sore. My 'The Him' knows this but still put me in the dreaded bag today and took me to see the white-coated one. I was lifted out by the scruff of my neck ! Most undignified. It was lucky that there were no other Superiors present. There were dogs but they don't count. Anyway, they lay on the floor looking sorry for themselves. Mind you, maybe they had need to if she did to them what she did to me. She washed my pads in a funny brown water and it tasted awful when I licked it and it stung. Not fair.

After that I was bundled back in the bag and taken home. When we arrived I came out and ran to his resting place and wiped as much brown water off on his white covers as I could. That wasn't too much as it had dried by then. Usually he leaves me alone after we come back in case I take the opportunity to test my claws on him. But this light it was strange to see him follow me to his room and offer me a piece of chicken. I know they say you should never bite the hand that feeds you but I couldn't resist. He howled. But then he cheated and threw something over me that made it hard to move as he wrapped it round me. I was picked up , bundled under his arm and carried away.

What came next no Superior should ever have to suffer. I was taken to the small room with the hard floor and released inside a glass box with no clearway open. The thing that covered me was taken away. I looked for a way out but with my sore pads I didn't think I could jump out. I saw 'The Him' roll up the skin he wears on his top, reach over me and turn a handle. He then pulled his arms out of the way....of the stream of WET WATER that rained down in me. There was nowhere to hide.

'The Him' dropped something on my back and then leaned over the glass box and started rubbing my back. My back turned white all of a sudden and I wriggled to get away but he is strong and held me down with one hand on my back while the other one rubbed and more and more white appeared which then covered my head and face. I tasted it and it was warm and awful.

He stopped rubbing and brought the rain closer till all the white was washed away. And still the water came. My hair stuck to my skin and I must have looked a sight. Suddenly the rain stopped !
'The Him' leaned in again and covered me with the same cloth thing as before. He held me hard,  lifted me out and started rubbing me hard. I was angry.

I wriggled a lot and I may have hissed a bit. If only I had one leg free he'd know about it. Then he stopped the rubbing and put me down on the floor. As he did so the cloth came free and I sat down to wash my feet. He must have thought himself safe and me forgetful or something for he leaned down and stroked my head. Like a flash I had his finger with my teeth and I saw the red appear.
So did he and whatever had been on his hand that caused the white made his hand sting when I bit him. He howled again and left the room in a hurry.

I felt worse than when it rains on me outside and I must have looked a bit bedraggled. My'The Her' was on her resting place so I went and snuggled up to get warm again. She would not let me sit on her tummy as usual though. I know there is something wrong with her. She did let me stay beside her till I was dry though and kept telling me I smelled nice.

As for my 'The Him' well I've already said. Sometimes the longlegs are fools. If he thinks after all these years he can treat me like that and I won't retaliate..well......................

Wise Cat
Dear Sir Oscar,
This is not the time and place for an ancient saying or a haiku, as is my habit to write, since the way you were treated was an outrage. Longlegs do not understand that wet water and cats do not mix except for drinking. These inferior beings have no proper way to wash themselves (the way we do), and they dip themselves in water to get clean. Why do they think we need it too is beyond me, or any other thinking cat. And adding insult to injury – causing wetness after a visit to the white coat – there is no excuse for such abuse. Your The Him richly deserved a mark of your teeth. Bite him again for me. And don’t forget to scratch.

Julia
Well Oscar I reckon we look after you and your health the best we can and believe we put you first and give you first class care 100% of the time matey, so there.

  If I'm going to spend this much time in the dog-house they'd better buy me a kennel. Look , it was a complete accident. You don't think I'd hurt myself on purpose do you?
My 'The Her' was resting on her sleeping place and my 'The Him' has been fussing and not letting me near her. I was getting cross and very bored. The best way to relieve the former was to swipe my claws across his ankle...and run. The best way to relieve the latter was to take a walk to the village to see the gang.

I had only found young Thomas and had decided to go see what was on offer at the 'Fursty Ferret; in case they had decided to leave me a full salmon out again as an offering. They hadn't worse luck, but they had left open a clearway in the floor that looked very inviting even if it didn't smell that way. I had just led Thomas down the ramp to the dark when I heard the clip-clop of hooves. I thought it might be Tango, my 'The Hers' horse and walked to the ramp ready to climb again when all of a sudden a huge heavy barrel cam ...well, barrelling down and almost squashed me. I jumped back and then remembering who was behind me said “ And that's the move to make when they throw these down here” and down came another one. Just then a longlegs opened the inner clearway and Thomas and I darted through until we reached a set of stairs that obviously led to the inside of the Fursty Ferret. We climbed, and looking as nonchalant as possible left by the open clearway to the light.

I said farewell to Thomas and sent him home. Before I did the same though I heard a noise and decided to investigate. Turning round by the old buildings at the back of the pub is the place the longlegs keep chariots. One of them was there making strange noises at a pile of overturned boxes that I know make the chariots go. They had liquid like water coming from them and I stepped through it for a closer look. I must have stepped on a piece of glass for I felt it slice through my pad but then I noticed that all my pads felt on fire. It was hot and I couldn't help but groan. You should know Longlegs that we Superiors are brave but you would have groaned to if your pads felt like mine.

I ran home and I climbed in the clearway leaving a big red streak behind me, then one on 'The Hers' lying place and hen lots on the carpet when I went through for food. My feet really hurt but food is important. I heard a squeal behind me and then watched as my 'The Her' followed my bloody progress by red marks. 'The Him' came running when he heard her, I know he is concerned about her being ill but I'm hurt. She showed him the marks which he followed till he reached me.

Tutting she passed him a bag. It's a bag I hate, a bag they take me away in. Before I could bolt he gripped me and dropped me in the bag. I protested vociferously. I protested all the way to the vet and all the time I was in the vet's. One grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and held my two front legs while another washed my feet which still stung.~” Burned “ she said “ Very messy”. Whatever she put on stung worse. I moaned. “ Quiet” she said, “don't be such a baby.” She must have meant my 'the Him' because I moaned only because I was hurt. Washing over she stuck needle in me and gave 'The Him' some tablets...perhaps he has worms.?? They must hurt because I saw tears in his eyes as he took out something from his back pocket and handed her a fistful of paper money from it and let out a big groan too.

I was put back in my bag and started moaning to let him know he was hurting me, I was carried home. I sat on his chair to clean my wounds and looked at him just hard enough to let him know what would happen if he tried to move me. I was within reach of my 'the Her' so she was able to stroke me from where she was resting. He went and sat in my chair with a great sigh. I think I'm in the dog house again.
Julia.
There we go superiors, we too have to see our own vets from time to time you know

Wise Cat has just posted a new comment on your blog post "Cat in the Dog House":

Comment: An ancient haiku:

in a perfect world
longlegs would kneel before cats
serving them with shoes