Oscar made it quite clear yesterday that his birthday was his alone. That wasn't very kind towards the others who live here. I confess I'm not too bothered about the degu and her children as she is treated constantly to make up for feeding time, but there is me and the rest of the girls,  Penny, Bernie and Priya.

      My natural inclination is not to get Oscar anything to celebrate his day, but never let it be said that I, Amy am churlish. As it happens, the human woman who lives here didn't make a great job of locking the cage door last night so with a bit of effort I was able to extend the spring enough to squeeze out of the door. It was a short hop from there to the arm of the settee and hence to the floor. Since I know Oscar was locked in the kitchen there was no chance of him coming out to spoil our surprise.

      Control is what' s needed on an expedition like this since though we are very intelligent creatures it's easy to get sidetracked for some. Bernie is a case in point. She's a very friendly girl but bares around like a 'Sherman tank' to borrow a human phrase and she's very inquisitive too. That was almost our downfall when Bernie jumped up on the arm of the settee after I'd released her, and tried to pull a bag of treats within reach from a side table. The treats came alright, but so did a solid ashtray that didn't bounce as it hit the wooden floor. I hear Oscar's claws scrabbling at the kitchen door and was worried one of the humans would come and spoil our surprise.

      At last we were all out and I had us down on the floor ready to go.I'd seen the human woman put Oscar's gifts in a corner of the room. We edged over quietly. I set Penny's jaws to eating through the paper and cardboard until the contents were exposed. Oh YAY it was full of cat chocolate drops. We're quite partial to those too so I pulled some out and set hem in little piles on the floor. " Here you go girls" I said, "let's give Oscar his birthday treat." Without  hesitation the girls and I dug in. I replenished each pile as it got low until we were all full and the box was all but empty.

      Gathering the girls and their satisfied smiles together I herded them back to the cage.
Freedom had beckoned for a moment but I knew it would be difficult through closed doors. Back in the cage Bernie turned to me and asked " But what have we got Oscar for his birthday since we've just eaten his treats?"
"Ah, I answered, the best one of all. Since he's getting larger as he's got older, we've given him a diet." With that I closed the cage door to so our little enterprise wouldn't be discovered. and thought that maybe next year he'd learn to share.
Amy.

      Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday Dear Oscarrrr, Happy Birthday to me. I fully intend this to be true.

      On Wednesday August 29th I become 18 in the eyes of the Longlegs. In cat terms you don't want to know my age. Suffice it to say I'm no spring chicken any more. Not that I have ever been a spring chicken of the avian variety you understand, it's just a term. 
When the day arrives I shall celebrate it as I always do, very quietly. You may think that we Superiors are unaware of such thing as birthdays but you'd be wrong. We have great expectations of the day in terms of what gifts the Longlegs present us, especially in view of the fact that sometimes their health depends on it. This being quite a significant day for me, I shall expect lots of attention and many gifts of toys , catnip and my chocolate drops. I shall be hoping that no-one makes the error of trying to buy me clothes as the Longlegs kitten once did. I am a Superior, I have my dignity and wearing a knitted jumper with a witty term on it is only going to get me into fights when someone laughs at it.

      No, the main reason I shall be spending the day quietly has to do with my friends. Ginger, Gizmo and the rest. If they find out it's my birthday they'll want to come and hold a party at which all my food and treats would be eaten. Selfish? Maybe. Survival? Maybe not, but it feels like it. Some of my friends have voracious appetites and I doubt My 'The Her' would welcome having her foodstocks disappear, actually I doubt she'd be pleased to find my gang in the house together at all. There have been one or two other occasions where some of them have been here and she was not impressed. Some of them are a little more casual than I about toilet needs. 

My ' 'The Him' found that someone had tried to scent mark a few corners in some of the rooms and for a while thought it was me. Of course he eventually realised I don't do that and since this is my home I don't need to claim ownership. I think the problem was that I had to try and erase the marks with my own smell while he was scrubbing to get rid of them himself.

So, I'm reminding all you Longlegs out there that you're welcome to wish me a Happy Birthday at the right time and letting you know that pieces of beef or cooked chicken are always welcome. I would ask though that you please keep quiet in front of your own Superiors in case the word gets out. I shall take the gang on a walk and check to see if the FurstyFerret has any food left to cool near an open clearway so my pals don't go hungry but I shan't be telling them why until afterwards when it's too late.

      I have often heard Longlegs say change is good or a change is a good as a rest. In truth they don't know what they're talking about. I don't care for change and I don't mind letting them know it. After all, as a Superior it's my job to educate isn't it?

      Last light I heard My 'The Him ' and 'The Her' returning from wherever they disappear to when I let them go. As usual there was a rustle of bags and I hoped there was something for me in there. I even risked an eye to check in case one of them came to offer me a treat. It happened.  My 'The Her' was thrown a bag which she opened near me and oh what a smell, it nearly drove me mad, I had to have it. All I actually got was three very small pieces of it but I know that I want more and I shall have it.

      The clearway was left open as there was heat and I was able to go out to relieve myself.  It was just as well because I noticed my toilet tray had gone from it's usual place to be replaced by a large box with  a cover. It looked just like the box they put me in to carry me to the white fur person who puts needles in me. If they thought I was falling for that they'd have to think again. This was not a good change. 
Later that light they went out again.It's like they have an itch to scratch and they must go out to do it. Still, they have to play I suppose. But as they went the clearway was closed. That was fine then....but a little later I needed some relief. I checked and my toilet was still not there. It was old, it was tired and tatty but it was MINE. To put this box in it's place was plain wrong. I searched but mine toilet was not to be found. This is where my famous teaching skills came into play. I found my relief in the shape of the foot furs My 'The Her' wears on her paws. They were comfortable and left on the floor so it must have been for me. But if not, this was my lesson, ' Don't remove my toilet without putting a replacement there for me.'

      They returned a while later and I heard a shriek. It was My 'The Him' moaning at the puddle on the floor whereupon he picked me up and placed me outside the now open clearway. Why? I had no further need to relieve myself just then. My 'The Her' attacked the floor with a mop and her foot furs went into the bin for some reason. When I wandered back in she picked me up and carried me to the new box. She pushed open a flap and pointed to the inside, "Cat litter " she said " your toilet". Now why hadn't she told me this before and said there was a change. After all, a change is as good as a rest and this one to give me more privacy was good change as I always say.

      I've been very glad of the warm weather recently where there has been little or no sky water. That's because things inside my home have become very stupid. I think the heat may effect Longlegs quite badly.What drove me out of the home eventually took place a few lights ago. I've mentioned before the uneasy truce the rodents and I have and part of that is based on them not inviting more to come. A while ago they broke this  though I'm not sure I can blame them since the new one who came doesn't look like they do, and doesn't seem to like them any more than I do. I was there one light when My 'The Her' had my bitterest enemies Penny and Amy out on the seat with her and stealing things from my 'The Him's' pockets. She brought the new one, Saffy by name' out to meet them and Penny flew at her. Saffy did stand her ground and hissed at Penny like a Superior would. Though I'm not the Superior in question since I know how hard Penny can bite. 'The Her scooped Saffy back up and placed her in the cage again. I don't know why she insists on letting them out at all.

      Anyway, a few lights ago I had been asleep when I was woken by a loud noise from My 'The Him' shouting for My 'The Her'.It really sounded important. I ambled through and they were standing over Saffy's cage. Saffy was rolling round the floor in her ball at this time. " It's moving and trilling I tell you. It's Gremlins."
"Nonsense David" she said, "don't be silly. Oh, you could be right though. Oh look David, Saffy's had babies, I can see two, three no four heads. Oh CLEVER Saffy."
I'm not sure what's clever about it but that means four more rodents in the house, and since then Five! It's not right, they're taking over my world.
Every light since then I've woken to find them leaning over the cage to look at these babies. I don't understand why. Still, I'm a very tolerant Superior and I'll sort of forgive them if my food's not late.I guess they won't be keeping these rodents when they get bigger though I have seen a new box brought by the post person which looks like another cage.

      Because the weather has been kind I've been out during the light. At my age I don't do much in the dark any more. So I've been spending a lot of time with the gang. We've had a good time mooching round the village trying to steer clear of the Longlegs kittens now on holiday, and lying in the shade under the trees by the Fursty Ferret. Someone even thought to place a saucer of water outside in case we got thirsty but no food in case we got hungry for some reason. This light the weather changed a bit and there was some sky water. I have been out and was careful to stay away from the tree in case of more accidents but when the warmth same again I went back there. Ginger was there and I said hello. He looked daggers at me but only hissed. I was a bit taken aback since we sorted out our problems long ago. When I asked what was wrong he told me My 'The Her' had offered his Longlegs one of the babies for their kittens when it gets older. He blames me for putting rodents in his house. It appears he's not the only one eithersince they've done it with Gizmo's Longlegs too.
I had to stifle a laugh since they won't be able to laugh at me any more as they have but I do understand how they feel. I think we parted on good terms when I offered to bite my Longlegs when I get home though I must be honest I'm not sure whether to bite them or rub their legs for stopping the teasing.

Just so you know how mall an ugly they are I'm having  pictures of one of the babies placed below.

      I'm in the wars today and feeling rather sorry for myself. I wasn't getting much sympathy because My 'The Her' was getting cross at my talking all the time when I was only trying to tell her what was wrong, but since she found out at least all is well there and I'm allowed to sit in My 'The Him's' chair without being made to move.

      It happened last light time. I had gone out through the clearway for a stroll. I had taken a short cut through the trees because it was a little wet from the sky and I tend to think water is just for drinking. I hadn't noticed the vixen nearby or her cub playing almost in front of me. I don't know how I missed it since they do have quite a smell. Anyway, before I could back away the vixen jumped and bit me in the top of my head. I know the tooth penetrated the skin and felt it scrape against the bone. She also bit my ear, though  that's fairly mangled an I'm not sure how you'd tell. I should have backed off then but I''m a little  awkward sometimes and had to fight back. I gave her an almighty swipe across the muzzle with my claws it stopped her in her tracks. That was an appropriate moment to back off which we both did and I turned away and left.

        Back out of the trees in the green the sky water must have helped wash the blood away if there was any. I had a terrible headache though. I curled up under a tree outside the Fursty Ferret for a while.  I'd not been there a few minutes when there was a loud rumble in the sky after which a huge spike of hot light flew down and hit the tree. Such a smell it left. There was a creaking sound followed by a thump. The thump was on me. Right on my back and head came a branch from the tree. Oh, my head, it really hurt.

      I crawled out from under the branch and in pain made my way home. I didn't think I could jump through the open clearway as usual so I stood outside the large clearway that was closed. I asked to be let in. I asked again and again and again. Eventually My'The Him' came and opened up. " Oscar, stop being so damn noisy" he said, "use your window in future"
I went in and crawled beneath My 'The Her's' bed and stayed there telling myself it wasn't fair. A few times they came through and told me to "Shhhhh" or tried to persuade me out but it was a long time before I did come out and then just to lie on her sleeping place. I wanted the pain to go away.

      At some stage I fell asleep but when I woke the head was still hurting and so I tried to call for attention. I got a few more hushes from Him and Her but eventually she came through to see me. As she attempted to stroke my head I'm afraid nature took over and I tried to bite her.Luckily she's quick and I was slow. She realised there was a problem and had felt a lump on my head. She walked away.
Before I knew it the white skin man was there and he was touching me everywhere and moving my legs. Then there was a sudden sharp pain in my head followed by some relief followed by another short sharp pain in my neck area. I knew he'd just put a needle in me.
My 'The Her' came through and the man removed his white skin and rolled it up. " Well" he said " it looks like there's been a bit of a battle. I've just removed half a tooth from his head and he seems to be quite badly bruised along his body. He's had an injection to stop infection from the head wound and I'd keep him in for a   few days to rest."
"Poor old Oscar" she said, "I knew something was wrong. I'll keep him in for a couple of days to give the antibiotic time to work." Even the rodents are going to feel sorry for me 
The white skin man left. My head has started to feel better over the dark time, and this new light here I am enjoying being able to sit where I like and having my dish brought to me instead of having to go to my dish to eat. 
Really, it's what I deserve anyway for wresting that tooth from a vixen and driving it away. A few more days of this and maybe I'll venture out again.