I may have been having a time where my attention was not as it should be but personally I don't think any of this was my fault.
I shall start from the beginning.
I yawned and stretched as I started to come awake and my tummy began to tell me it was time to be fed. I did consider speaking to my 'The Her' since I was lying on her sleeping place close beside her head. But past experience tells me waking her would be difficult and certainly not as much fun as I could have. Accordingly I jumped down from my warm place and went to check my dishes. Yes, there was food in there but it had been placed there last light time and I'd slept since then. So, time for fresh then.
My 'The Him' was uttering little burbling noises as I went to him and I could see a little trail of drool from his mouth running down the side of his face as he lay on his back. It was quite sweet. Of course it couldn't stay like that so with one of my more sensuous leaps I landed on his stomach. The burbling stopped and much of the breathing did too I think and a series of little whoops ensued as he tried to catch his breath, it was running too fast to be caught though. A little tear formed in his eye and it was quite interesting so I moved my head in for a closer look. It was pure accident that my paw happened to step on his nose at this point. With a loud gasp he drew air into his lungs and started to cough. It made standing on his stomach difficult so I showed my disapproval with a light swipe to his reddened nose. His eyes opened wide and now sure he was aware of me I smiled and said hello.
"Oscar" he croaked, "I'm sure you know exactly what you're doing. What on Earth do you want at this time of the morning. It's not five o'clock yet."
It wasn't worth answering him since I knew he'd work it out eventually and get up. He did, for some reason grumbling all the while. My food dish was washed, dried and refilled. I didn't feel as hungry then as I heard a sound that was most annoying. The damn cock started to crow outside. I moved away from my food dish leaving it untouched and listening to my 'The Him' grumble about cats that get people up for no reason. I went and sat by the clearway patiently. As he started to go back towards his room he opened the clearway and let me out.
The cock was out of sight but not out of sound since I could still hear him bragging about whatever it was they brag about. Quietly and with guile I crept around the house until I could see him. Keeping low to the ground I crept towards him. I was almost there and ready to pounce when he saw me and with a flutter of his wings he ran. So did I. This was fun. The hedge came in sight and I was sure I had him then but with an almighty leap he was up and over. Just at that moment the big chariot that carries hay from the fields came round the corner and the cock landed straight on the back. The last I saw of him, he was sailing away in the distance to stunned to brag. It was a laughable sight.
Feeling cheered and now hungry again I decided to eat. There was a small clearway left open for me so up I jumped onto the sill. Unfortunately I must still have been thinking of the cock as I didn't notice the vase placed in my path as I entered the house.Down it went with a huge crash and shattered into quite a few pieces. There was water everywhere and flowers strewn across the floor. I removed myself from the scene rapidly and went to my dish.
From where I was I could hear the commotion. Voices from both My 'The Her' and 'The Him'.
"How on Earth did you manage to break such a valuable vase David?" she asked.
"It wasn't me" he said,"I just came through when I heard it. It was probably that damned cat of yours coming in again."
" Don't try and blame Oscar" she said "I can't see him, can you? Oh well, accidents will happen I suppose."
I decided at this point it would be a good idea to lay low for a while and under my 'The Him's' duvet seemed a good idea.
It was some time later that I came out after a good snooze. Everything had been cleared up and there were no raised voices.
I wandered through to the seating room just as the ringing started. My 'The Her' picked up the small box and put it to her ear. "Hello" she said, and I could hear a faint sound from inside the box in return. "Really !" I heard her say a few times before saying thank you and putting the box down.
"David we have to go out. That was Major Summersby at Langholme Farm in the next County to say he's just found our cockerell strutting about his yard."
"How the heck" he started to reply but looking at me "did it get there when I heard it here earlier this morning."
I just jumped up beside My 'The Her' and lay my head on my paws to allow her to scratch my neck and said nothing. After all, it wasn't my fault the chariot had come when it did any more than it was my fault someone put that vase in my path.