My 'The Her' was excited. It seems.an old friend from long ago is going to visit and I heard her say to 'The Him' that they had lots to catch up on. I could also see quite clearly with my Superior senses that 'The Him' was not as pleased as she was no matter how often he bared his teeth for her, smiling I think they call it. Perhaps he was jealous that he would lose some of her attention. I certainly was.
I had lain down on 'The Hers' bed ready to snooze when a terrible screech disturbed me. I was so surprised that I jumped with shock about a foot in the air. Through the open clearway I could see 'The Him' had suffered the same and was only just landing again. Not as delicately as me of course.
I left the room to look for the source of the noise catching up to 'The Him' heading in the same direction. At the large clearway stood my 'The Her' in the grip of a bear with the sound of “Daaahhhling” which was the noise that had disturbed us. She didn't seem upset or worried which was strange and she suddenly let out a screaming“Letitia Deahhh, how lovely to see you.” I thought it a strange name for a bear.
The bear moved backwards and I could see it was actually a Longlegs dressed in one of the funny skins they wear. And, stranger still, one of the arms had eyes. The Letitia bear moved forwards and approached the him putting it's face up to his and nearly putting it's lips on his face. “David” it said without warmth " how are you?”
“Hello Letitia Dear” replied my 'The Him' removing the skin from her at which point I realised the eyes on her arm belonged to a Superior. Not of a type I'd seen before but very attractive. Very short hair and a lovely cream colour with black face and ears. Mmmm.
Letitia bear was ushered through to the lounge and she sat in MY chair. I wasn't too keen on that as no-one had asked me but it brought the new Superior down to a better level. I wandered over casually expecting a stroke from Letitia bear but she didn't seem to notice me at all. Neither did the Superior in her arms. That didn't please me as I'm not used to being ignored. I jumped up on my 'The Hers' lap and edged onto the arm of her seat and assumed a relaxed position. I saw the stranger glance in my direction. “Hello, I'm Oscar” I said, “ fancy a walk while the longlegs talk?”
“Valk” she replied, “I don't valk anyvhere. I is Princess Jasmine and the longlegs they is for carryink me.” I was a little doubtful that I'd get a longlegs to carry her alongside me for a walk though perhaps my 'The Him' might in order to avoid staying here with Letitia bear. However there was no way of asking him and I was no longer sure I wanted to walk with her anyway.
I settled down to sleep. In a very short time I was woken by a hissing. “You there. Ocsar, I vant food, bring me some.”
“Firstly my name is Oscar not Ocsar , and secondly I don't take commands. But, if you wish you can join me and share some chicken.”
She looked at me and said “Very vell, I shall join you, but I sink you is rude to a superior who comes from the Royal Court of Siam.” At which point I knew she was a fraud as there is no Siam anymore. She slithered down off the Bear's knee and followed me to my dishes where she tried to barge in and eat my chicken without sharing. I was not allowing that and stuck my head in the dish which forced her out. She cried “Pig” at me and ran off whining. As I re-entered the lounge she was sitting on the bear's knee again telling her “The peasant won't share with me.” It's good sometimes that the longlegs can't understand us properly. But perhaps I was wrong as Letitia bear was saying “And what did that scruffy cat do to yoou Dear?” At which point both My' The Her' and 'The Him' spoke up. “Scruffy cat! I hope you don't mean Oscar who is a pedigree cat and not a terribly pampered puss like yours.”
“Ach” said the bear, “ I've never been so insulted”
“You obviously don't get out often then” said 'The Him.
“Where is my coat?” she asked, “ I won't stay here to be insulted.”
“Oh, where do you prefer to be insulted?” chipped in my 'The Her' bringing the coat which Letitia Bear slipped on, placed the pampered puss upon her arm and left.
“ Sorry Dear” said 'The Him', “ I know she was your friend but the woman is intolerable.”
“Actually David” she replied, “ I was scared of her at school because she was a bully but when she got in touch I thought she'd perhaps changed.”
“OK Oscar, lets go sort you out some fresh chicken as a reward” said 'The Him'.
And for once I did as he suggested.
Dear Sir Oscar:
You have touched upon a very serious issue. There are Superiors out there who claim fake pedigrees! I will never understand why, since all Superiors are noble, no matter where they come from or what breed they are. I am a Siamese myself, as you know, which adds insult to injury… and I am ashamed of any Superior who succumbs to such tactics. I am very happy to see you exposing this scam artist in your valuable blog.
Ah, my darling Oscar, what a rude interruption to your day. I admire your proud and disciplined approach to putting that terrible intruder in her place. Well done, my friend. :)
Oscar. Thank you both very much. I didn't like to be treated as an idiot in my own home, especially after I'd offered to share my chicken.