My pads are sore. My 'The Him' knows this but still put me in the dreaded bag today and took me to see the white-coated one. I was lifted out by the scruff of my neck ! Most undignified. It was lucky that there were no other Superiors present. There were dogs but they don't count. Anyway, they lay on the floor looking sorry for themselves. Mind you, maybe they had need to if she did to them what she did to me. She washed my pads in a funny brown water and it tasted awful when I licked it and it stung. Not fair.
After that I was bundled back in the bag and taken home. When we arrived I came out and ran to his resting place and wiped as much brown water off on his white covers as I could. That wasn't too much as it had dried by then. Usually he leaves me alone after we come back in case I take the opportunity to test my claws on him. But this light it was strange to see him follow me to his room and offer me a piece of chicken. I know they say you should never bite the hand that feeds you but I couldn't resist. He howled. But then he cheated and threw something over me that made it hard to move as he wrapped it round me. I was picked up , bundled under his arm and carried away.
What came next no Superior should ever have to suffer. I was taken to the small room with the hard floor and released inside a glass box with no clearway open. The thing that covered me was taken away. I looked for a way out but with my sore pads I didn't think I could jump out. I saw 'The Him' roll up the skin he wears on his top, reach over me and turn a handle. He then pulled his arms out of the way....of the stream of WET WATER that rained down in me. There was nowhere to hide.
'The Him' dropped something on my back and then leaned over the glass box and started rubbing my back. My back turned white all of a sudden and I wriggled to get away but he is strong and held me down with one hand on my back while the other one rubbed and more and more white appeared which then covered my head and face. I tasted it and it was warm and awful.
He stopped rubbing and brought the rain closer till all the white was washed away. And still the water came. My hair stuck to my skin and I must have looked a sight. Suddenly the rain stopped !
'The Him' leaned in again and covered me with the same cloth thing as before. He held me hard, lifted me out and started rubbing me hard. I was angry.
I wriggled a lot and I may have hissed a bit. If only I had one leg free he'd know about it. Then he stopped the rubbing and put me down on the floor. As he did so the cloth came free and I sat down to wash my feet. He must have thought himself safe and me forgetful or something for he leaned down and stroked my head. Like a flash I had his finger with my teeth and I saw the red appear.
So did he and whatever had been on his hand that caused the white made his hand sting when I bit him. He howled again and left the room in a hurry.
I felt worse than when it rains on me outside and I must have looked a bit bedraggled. My'The Her' was on her resting place so I went and snuggled up to get warm again. She would not let me sit on her tummy as usual though. I know there is something wrong with her. She did let me stay beside her till I was dry though and kept telling me I smelled nice.
As for my 'The Him' well I've already said. Sometimes the longlegs are fools. If he thinks after all these years he can treat me like that and I won't retaliate..well......................
Dear Sir Oscar,
This is not the time and place for an ancient saying or a haiku, as is my habit to write, since the way you were treated was an outrage. Longlegs do not understand that wet water and cats do not mix except for drinking. These inferior beings have no proper way to wash themselves (the way we do), and they dip themselves in water to get clean. Why do they think we need it too is beyond me, or any other thinking cat. And adding insult to injury – causing wetness after a visit to the white coat – there is no excuse for such abuse. Your The Him richly deserved a mark of your teeth. Bite him again for me. And don’t forget to scratch.
Well Oscar I reckon we look after you and your health the best we can and believe we put you first and give you first class care 100% of the time matey, so there.