So, he made his attempt then swung himself out and followed me. The big clearway was opened and I walked out. The clearway closed behind me but was I worried? No !! I did what I needed to do and walked back to the clearway which, as if by magic, opened for me. I sat and waited. The clearway was closed again and 'The Him' turned to go back to his sleeping place before I'd finished with him. Cheek !! I raised my voice in a plaintive way and it worked. He came to a halt and about faced. “What now Oscar” he said and I turned, raised my tail and walked into the lounge confident that he was following. Childsplay !!
I came to a halt beside his chair and allowed him to sit. As his bottom hit the seat so I hit his knees. Timing is everything. His hands came up and almost absent-mindedly rubbed my cheeks and my ears. Then I couldn't believe it, one hand ceased play and he leaned forward. I was almost squashed by his mammoth tummy until he sat back with a sigh. I thought it was the sigh of defeat but I was wrong. In his hand he held one of the white sticks that he sets fire to and he raised it to his mouth and smoked !! One hand continued to stroke me but the other moved back and forth to his mouth and he breathed out the smoke. I couldn't stand it and jumped down. I swear I saw a smile play about his lips. Raising my tail I turned and left the room.
I heard him making himself one of his hot drinks in a bowl from where I sat and returned to the chair I'd left. I fully expected him to return with his drink but without the smoke which had now cleared. I was wrong. Drink in one hand and white smoker in the other he bypassed the chair and went straight back towards his sleeping place. I ran and darting between his legs arrived first. Up onto the sleeping place I jumped knowing he wouldn't sit on me but he pulled up short of that and drawing up a chair sat at his desk. Turning on the box that lights and making the tap tap sound with his fingers he ignored me altogether. I watched for a time the pictures change on the box, watched him drink his drink and then light up another white stick. I gave up, curled myself up and went to sleep in disgust.
Later I went out and met Ginger. I told him of the early light happenings. I expected his sympathy but all he did was laugh and tell me it's my own fault for not checking the white sticks were not out of reach or missing before I made my play. “After all” he'd told me, didn't I always warn the kittens to be prepared. I could have followed my own advice and not been caught out. He told me that for once I'd been bested and should just accept it. I suppose with bad grace I shall have to won't I?
How could you possibly allow your The Him to smoke his white sticks? Over the years you have spent with him, you should have managed to stop this dangerous habit. And I don’t mean this habit is just bad for you! It’s terrible for the Long Legs. Even though the well being of the Superior in the house is of paramount importance, it is a good Superior’s duty to take care of his Long Legs. The reason is, if they are not well, the Superior might be neglected! And please don’t tell me that you are allowing your The Her to smoke, too? I will be appalled by such a thought. Well, it is never too late. You must, but absolutely MUST stop your Long Legs from smoking. Use any tactic you think fit! The sky is the limit!
Dear Wise Cat, since my 'The Her' has become poorly she doesn't seem to touch the white sticks at all. I shall have to think of a way to stop my 'The Him' as well.