It was my bed. I woke up and knew it was time to find another place to sleep. The warmth was coming through to me from the big clearway and my coat felt like it was on fire. My 'The Hers' bed had been good but as she's not here it seems empty and I'm too hot to stay here. I have tried my 'The Him's' bed before and in the dark time it's too full of noise from his nose and in the light time it gets no warmth. Anyway it's not good enough for a superior like me, at my age I need comfort.
Knowing I had to think this out I did the next best thing to sleeping and went to eat. After a series of hard stares at 'The Him' he'd been out and got me some chicken. It was nice too. Such a shame there was not enough as that means I'll have to eat the ordinary food he buys me. I do like it but if I let him know then I might no longer get the chicken. This is something all you kittens out there need to learn in order to assume and maintain control. Anyway I digress......
I went to my dish in the small room where he feeds me and found a basket full of washing he'd done in the spinning machine. With a playful flick of my paw I hit out at the top of the basket and out rolled something wonderful. It's the things he wears on his paws before he puts on the hard ones for outside. They were like a ball. They were stripy and had stars on them but they still rolled around well if I flicked them. As it didn't hurt my paw I realised how soft they were.
Picking them up in my mouth I found they were light too and I ran with them to 'The Hers' room.
As I said it was too hot to sleep on that bed now but underneath it was so cool. Ahhh, it's lovely. But I can't sleep on something so small. I went back and standing on my back lags I could see over the basket. There were lots of them. He has them in all patterns and colours and even my 'The Her' wears them sometimes. As quickly as I could I moved them one by one or even two by two to their new home, placed them in a circle and lay down. Bliss, sheer bliss. I settled down to sleep.
I don't know how long it was before I was woken by a roar. “Where in heaven's name are my socks?”
Well, as I don't know what a sock is it can't concern me can it? But it did. It seems my bed was his socks and after some considerable time he found them. At the same time he found me and I wasn't too pleased at being woken after I'd just fallen asleep again. As the hurt party in all this I naturally swiped his hand as it came close to where I lay and grabbed part of my new bed. He howled and stuck his finger in his mouth and mumbled “He'spinchedmysocksandclawedmeagainhelp.” Obviously no-one understood him least of all me. He brought a long handled brush and pushed me off my bed and I was indignant at the shame of it. He pulled all his 'Socks' out, and picking them up left the room backwards keeping an eye on me all the time.
So here I am ready for a change and I'm still looking for a way to achieve it. Any ideas?
My dear Sir Oscar, don’t you know how emotionally attached Long Legs are to their socks? They would let you do almost anything without complaining, but their socks are sacred. Just go on the computer and order a new soft cat hammock. The Long Legs will assume they ordered it and put it up for you.
(firstname.lastname@example.org) Sat, 17 Sep 2011 00:05:04
So far Oscar all you've proved to me is that cats are selfish animals who always put themselves first. I think I might just like dogs better.