The horrible journey after being tricked into the box with bars, all the time My 'The Her' making cooing sounds like I'm in for a treat. Well I wasn't.
We arrived at the place with other Superiors and I could feel their unhappiness before I could hear them. A strange longlegs who kept turning her mouth up and showing her teeth came to meet us at the door of the chariot and picked my box up. She carried me to a place where there were lots of boxes made of holes where all the other superiors were . As soon as we arrived they set up a song of warning for me but what could I do? I was moved from my box to one made of holes and the clearway was closed. I saw my 'The Her' pass over my own bowl and some of my food before she turned on her heel and left. I called out after her, "Don't leave me, it was all an accident, come back."
Two light turns later and she must have known I was calling as she was here. I knew it was her from the pawsteps and I knew she must have understood it was all an accident, a terrible accident.
For two light turns I have been here and have been outside this box of holes two times.
Two times I have tried not to come back in but the strange longlegs caught me each time. But now my 'The Her' is here, putting my dish in a bag and I almost run into the box with bars.
We are home and I have allowed my longlegs to stroke and fuss me but I am a little aloof as I have not quite forgiven them yet. But I am home.
I have looked around and there's no trace of the worm now. Perhaps I'd better explain.
I am getting old but still energetic and lithe and strong and feel young. Before I was taken away I was jumping about in the place of longlegs food to see if they'd left anything I might like and could borrow to eat. I jumped from surface to surface, even over the place where the water comes and I catch the drips. In one mighty leap I jumped from a surface onto the red thing on the wall. I was superb ! But, as I landed the red thing moved.
It fell, I fell. As I landed I ran because the red thing made an awful noise followed by a longer quietter noise. The quietter noise was a long white worm flying out of the red thing and it was getting bigger and bigger all the time. I tried to pounce on it's head because I'm brave but I just fell straight through it. The worm kept coming and coming, all over the floor of the food place and then out onto the floors where strange grass the longlegs like lies. It looked very wet but did not taste nice.
My longlegs returned as the worm was chasing me and they saw me fly to the sleeping place on my 'The Her' and dive beneath it.
My 'The Him' called my name loudly and I knew it was not in a way that says treats in store.
All because of this I was punished and taken away. Still I see my 'The Him' coming towards me now with a piece of ham so I might forgive them, maybe.
More questions seem to have come . I shall ask Millie to answer them while I am busy.
I am hesitating to write to you because you see, I am, well, how can I put it, I am a dog... I realize it's unusual for a dog to write for the advice column for cats, but you see, I live with four cats and they all adore me. As a matter of fact, they fight as to who would be the one to curl on my back when we all go to sleep. My long legs don't know how to handle the cat fights, and really, I feel it's my responsibility to keep the peace. How should I persuade them to take turns?
Dear the Superiors Canine friend,
This is a most unusual situation, most canines are mortal enemies of us superiors, however it is a refreshing change to see one as a friend and protector. May I suggest you ask one superior to lie between your front paws and have a massage, two curl up by your warm soft tummy (paws directed away of course) and one on your back, then ask them to change round? They all then get the benefit of softness, back, and a massage if it is done in strict rotation. We are very possessive you know, it is in our deepest nature to be so, it is how we have survived so well. I do hope this works because the longlegs are pretty hopeless, they are so soft and squishy that they are afraid of our claws and teeth, mind you it is a good job really, it is what is needed as a last resort in their training.
Good luck and stay firm
I live on a very big place with lots of warm places to sleep, there is even fresh warm milk to drink as well as an awful lot of small furry things to hunt, my problem is my sisters and I are still quite young and other superiors keep invading and trying to push us out.
Dear lucky youngster,
Oh what a lovely place to live apart from these very naughty superiors. Well it sounds like a lot of cheeky elders are taking advantage of your youth. May I suggest you and your sisters band together and launch suprise attacks on these cheeky ones preferably when they are on their own. Youth can have its advantages as you may well be much more lively on your paws. If there is a canine around entice the canines to chase you towards the invaders and then get out of the way fast, and by doing this as a group it will confuse the canine no end. If you scatter at just the right moment it will leave the invader so surprised that it will be the target. You have to start learning all the crafty arts we superiors have learned with age and may I suggest that these are only a couple of them.
Good luck in your endevours,