A message to Oscar's adoring public:
I just wanted to let all of you that Oscar will be a guest of honor in our beautiful land of Me'ow. He will be warmly welcomed by my Longlegs, The Empress, and will enjoy the famous Mulberry Blossom Festival. I am sure that even though you naturally will miss him very much, you wish him a pleasant time until he returns home.
We need to talk about something concerning the Longlegs. I have noticed over my many lives so far that Longlegs place a value on what they call money. Now, this could be in the form of little bits of metal or even pieces of paper. Yes, I know you don't understand but if you have a little patience I'll explain.
Longlegs don't go out and catch their food. Maybe it's because they only have two legs I don't know, but they don't have the skills we have. Maybe you can see now why we are the Superiors and not them? But, they have money, or some of them do at least. With this money, or cash as they also call it, they go to the shops in the High Street and in exchange for this money they receive goods. They keep getting silly things like covers for their paws, sometimes in bright colours which any prey out there would see. Sometimes they get covers for their bodies too because they don't have much fur, ha ha. The female ones go for things that still show legs while the males go for things that cover all their leg. Except when the sun is shining when they all seem to show a lot of leg. But yet again I digress. The main thing they get is food. Now I don't begrudge them this as they often get food for us too which can be very tasty.
What makes me cross though is that sometimes you see the Longlegs begging in the street instead of going and using their money to buy things. They ask other Longlegs for their money and use that instead. I wonder why? I know of one who begs for money all light time and gets lots and then comes the next light time to do it all again.
Obviously none of the Longlegs realise that you shouldn't beg but you can go out and get for yourself. Yes OK. It might take a lot of mice to feed a Longlegs but there are bigger animals out there too. I mean cows aren't much use are they? But there's a better skill they could learn and that's The Stare. If I sit in the doorway of the butchers shop and just stare inside it doesn't seem long before either the butcher or one of his customers ( a Longlegs word for one who takes money to them) brings me some ham. It works in other places too. Now I've seen dogs trying this but they sit and whine until the butcher throws a bone to them. Whining is not good and Superiors don't do that, and of course bones aren't much good to us either so I'm happy to leave those to the dogs.
Superiors like me don't need money, don't need to whine and certainly don't beg. So, maybe it's time to open a Superior's Academy to teach these things to the less well blessed as us. Longlegs as usual will have trouble understanding but maybe we can find a way to do it with pictures. We should really share our skills and knowledge with the less fortunate.
Oscar has asked me to announce that he is going on a prolonged holiday following an invitation from his friend Wise Cat to visit Me'ow. He hopes all his friends keep well in his absence and expresses a wish to meet you all again sometime.