See you soon !
Dear Oscar, I am a long legs from Australia. I found your segment about the Master Plan extremely interesting since it has to do with language, feline and human. I have read that cats don’t vocalize so much to other cats, but have a huge vocabulary that they use for humans. Is this true? In other words, you seem to use the illness cry, the morning cry, and probably a food cry for your long legs. But do you do the same when you converse with Ginger?
Dear Longlegs from Australia,
It is unusual for us Superiors to use vocalization as it gives our positions away to predators and prey alike, but we read body language very well indeed. If there is danger and we are not in sight of each other and need to communicate the danger to others, then we vocalise. Oscar does not vocalise to Ginger as there would be no point or necessity really unless he was out of sight and/or in huge trouble. I hope this helps, regards,
Dear Oscar, I am a regular reader (a cat from Arkansas, U.S.) and I would like to help you with something. You have made it clear a couple of times that your The Her does not wake up easily when you cry. I would like to suggest that you learn to imitate the natural cry of a human baby. If your The Her ever had a baby, she never gets over the imprint of the sound of the crying, and if you succeed, she will wake up every time you do it. I imagine that you are using the Internet, like most cats these days? You can easily Google for a baby cry with one flip of a tail. Good luck!
Dear Superior from Arkansas,
This The her has been subjected to every noise within the capabilities of superior Oscar. He assures me, over 15 years, there is no noise he has not tried. He cannot wake this longlegs, he has tried scratching gently with claws even and found himself flying through the air as she turned over very violently. It is so much easier to wake The Him and lets face it we are superior because the easy option is always the best and we take it.
Dear Oscar or Millie. I need some help. My longlegs works away sometimes and just leaves me a big meal in a dish though she is away a light time, a dark time and a light time. The meal goes stale very quickly and isn't nice. As I leave some she gives me smaller meals thinking I don't need much. Also my toilet tray is not nice to use without being changed in that time. What can I do?
This is terrible, have you tried eating a little of the stale food when your longlegs comes home and promptly return it? Preferably on their shoes or directly in front of them. As for the litter tray I would leave presents elsewhere or at least do something just outside your tray when they come home. They may just get the message but if not I would voice my disgust and distress while the longlegs is away and try to draw attention to your plight from outside. I do hope this does not continue, regards,
I would like to ask Millie a question. Why do you think you can give advice about being nice to other Superiors when you always fight with me. Your brother Maddison.
Ha you little terror, because you start it! You pretend to give me a love and then box me. Just tell everyone who it is who fights other Superiors for you when they dare try to be bossy with you, you cheeky little monkey.
Your sister Millie
why do you keep calling yourselves Superiors when clearly you are just cuddly pets? We humans must be superior really as we have an opposed thumb and can open jars, tins and can cook.We own you. We can change the way we dress to suit changes in weather. Isn't it time you stopped fooling yourelf?
Oh dear oh dear, here we have a very deluded longlegs, who really does not know Superiors at all. We can catch our own food, it is fresh as well, however if you are willing to provide then who are we to argue? We choose NOT to leave you, you obviously cannot catch your own fresh food, which is why we bring you presents. Our coats change with the weather anyway, they moult and become less bulky in the hot sunshine, please tell me though why on earth would we want to change into silly colours that would glare and dazzle our prey? We need fresh food sometimes. Really no wonder you need to open tins and packets you would be totally hopeless at catching your own food. Maybe you may begin to understand that as lethal predators we are definately not just cuddly pets, we do thank you by being kind and providing for us though, which is why we rub you,purr and sometimes enjoy cuddling up.