You really must learn to be firm in your directions whilst retaining subtlety. It's no use talking to Longlegs these days about how hungry you are. You must direct them to your empty dish so they will understand.
If they are not quick enough to renew the litter in your tray, make sure you kick the old and used litter out onto the floor in order to use what's left. They'll soon get the message.
I was asked by young Thomas about laps. Do we stay there if placed there by a Longlegs? The answer is, only if you feel comfortable. If not, you must get off but you must also give a quick swipe with your paw as you go to let them know you go onto laps at your whim not theirs. There are times I get so disheartened to hear that some of you forget who is in charge and allow yourselves to be manhandled. Maybe I should write a book on this? I'm sure Wise Cat would help with an opinion.
BEDS. Now, this is important, pay attention. During the light time the beds are of course yours to do with as you will. Sleep being the obvious choice. But dark time seems to confuse many of you. I can't understand why. It's exactly the same as the light time, they're yours. OK, you may let the Longlegs share them in the dark time but the main point is they must share them AFTER you are comfortable. Don't let yourself be bullied into giving up your spot.
I know some of you like your Longlegs and treat them as pets but you really must remember that they are only there to see to your needs really. Give them an inch and you'll suddenly find you've got a ruler. You can like them, even Love them and tolerate them but don't ever forget who is the Superior and giving the orders. Why do you think you were given such a wonderful set of claws if not to use them to train and chastise your Longlegs. Be fair with them but don't let them take advantage. Share your furniture with them but only after you've reserved your place.
Remember above all else that a Longlegs is for life or should I say for your life. They must make you comfortable and feed you the best of everything in order to earn the right to stroke you. Don't give in too easily and you can expect a long and comfy life.
Well you certainly have us well trained Oscar though I do think you could sugar coat it a bit and occasionally let us think we're in charge.
Timothy Cat Arbel
Oscar, buddy, you got it right. I found a new place to sleep which totally amazed my longlegs. As she sleeps, I push her pillows to the side with my well sharpened claws. She obediently moves her head with the pillows, and then the little spot between the pillows and the edge of the bed is sheer joy. Sometimes I put my paws in her hair, too.
Your friend, Timmy
Dear Sir Oscar,
I feel honored by your mentioning me. Yes, not only should you write a book of advice to other Superiors, but I think this segment could serve as a perfect introduction! You can always count on my help, too.
Here is a haiku I have composed for the great occasion (your thinking of a book, I mean, of course):
fur gleams in dark time
my superior’s eyes glow
you know who I am...